The song that inspired the story is
“After All” music by Frank Wildhorn / lyrics
by John Bettis
Copyright 1990 - BMG Music.
Can be found on Linda Eder’s self titled CD
These characters do not belong to me, I am just borrowing them for a bit.
After All (Listen
to the song)
by Amanda Berendt
Copyright 2003
Dr. Natalie Lambert sat at
her desk in the Coroner’s building. She slowly
massaged her temples. The past few days
had been a bitter frosting on the wild
roller coaster ride of the past year.
Following Schanke and Cohen’s
deaths, Nick had been reverting back to
the vampire. He was becoming closer to
Lacroix. She knew he still wanted
mortality, but the devastation of the past year
would not be easy to overcome. She
had already talked him out of moving on once.
*The moon makes ribbons to surround you
With the robe of dark around you
I see goodbye
A blade that cuts me from your eyes
I wonder why*
Earlier that evening she had
talked with Nick about Laura’s suicide and
how it was not such a bad idea. Again,
he refused to bring her across. When she
asked him, he said it was because he couldn’t
condemn her to was in the darkness.
But it was, at least partly, he own choice.
*It’s time for honesty and answer
Love is the song - we are the dancers
A broken pair - we spin alone
And wonder where - the touch has gone*
She had known Nick for only
about six years, but they had grown so close
and gone through so much in that short period
of time. There was an unspoken
love between them that neither was willing to
admit.
*After all this time
After all we’ve been through
Is this all that we have
No - we still have time
To find each other - after all*
Before they could finish their
conversation earlier that evening, Nick had
been called away because of a situation at the
precinct. After over an hour of
thinking, Natalie realized Nick might be right.
Perhaps bringing her across was not
the answer. That part of living was dealing
with the deaths of loved ones.
She was just about to pick
up the phone to call Nick so they could talk
about this, when it rang.
Startled, she picked it up.
“Lambert.”
“Natalie, it’s Joe Reese.
Is Knight there with you?”
Her stomach turned at his
tone. “No, he left for the precinct over an hour
ago. Did something happen?”
“There was an accident at
the station.”
Natalie gasped, “Oh my god,
what happened?”
The captain gave an audible
sigh. “There was a shooting. Detective Vetter
was in the line of fire.”
“Is she going to be all right?”
Another long sigh, “It doesn’t
look good.”
*I touch your face and feel you crying
Are all the words we’ve said been lies
We’ll never leave - the place where hearts
Alone receive - what love believes*
It was only about an hour or
so before dawn as Natalie sat on the couch in
Nick’s loft waiting. She turned as she
heard the elevator grind to life. The door
slid open and Nick stepped out.
She stood up and met him halfway.
“Tracy Vetter passed away twenty
minutes ago.”
After taking in the shock,
Nick stood at the window staring out over the
city - the weight of the world on his shoulders,
“Lacroix thinks I’m a fool...
bearing this guilt, trying to somehow atone for
what I’ve done. Maybe he’s right.
All that’s ever come of it is pain. And
more death.”
Natalie stopped him gently.
“That’s not true.”
“Tracy... Cohen... Schanke,”
his voice almost broke on the final name.
“How many others over the centuries... because
of what I am?”
“How many lives were you able
to save because of what you are? You’ve
done more than make up for what you’ve done.”
Nick shook his head.
“It’s not enough. It’s never enough.” He took a
deep breath, then let it out slowly. “I’m
leaving, Nat. Tonight.”
She was stunned. After
a moment she said, “Not without me.”
*After all this time
After all we’ve been through
Is this all that we have
No - we still have time
To find each other - after all*
He turned to face her, “I’m
leaving because of you... to get away from
you.” He paused. “You don’t want my love,
Natalie. All it will do is destroy
you.”
Natalie touched his arm.
“There is a way... there is one cure that we
haven’t tried. Janette became mortal by
making love to Robert... taking just a little
at a time...”
“It was a lot more complicated
than that, Nat.”
“I’m willing to take my chances
that it wasn’t.”
Nick turned away again. “I’m
not. And what if I take too much.”
Natalie’s voice softened,
“Does Lacroix ever talk to you about faith?”
“In what?”
“In yourself... in an afterlife...
in a greater being who loves us and forgives
us - no matter who we are or what we’ve done?”
He shrugged her off. “Faith
is a mortal folly.”
She moved closer to him.
“I won’t accept that the sum of our existence
can be measured in the few short years we’re
alive here. If that were true,
everything we believe would be meaningless.
Our lives here would be
meaningless. I know that’s not true and
so do you.” He looked at her as she
continued. “You have faith, Nick.
And if it’s a mortal folly, then you’re the most
mortal man I’ve ever known.”
“What are you saying?”
“I have faith that there is
a future for us... Here as we are now... Or
somewhere else... I believe in you. I trust
you.”
*Within the deepest darkness
The seed of morning waits to grow
The sun will come - this much I know*
Natalie took his hand.
“Make love to me... take a little at a time.”
He tensed. “I’m afraid of
what might happen.”
“Don’t be. I’m not afraid
to die. Or of living an eternity of darkness. As
long as I spend it with you.” Turning to
him and cupped his face in her hands.
“All I have is faith... and love. All I’m
asking is for you to love me.” She looked
deeply into his eyes. “I trust you.”
He turned his face away for
a moment, and when he turned to face her
again, his eyes were gold and his fangs were
extended.
*After all this time
After all we’ve been through
If we hold together - just one more night
We’ll find forever - after all*
Nick looked deeply into her
eyes. “Whatever happens... we’ll be
together...”
Natalie closed her eyes and
added, “Forever.”
-Finis-